Here at FMT, we believe there is a hot sauce for everything. One company has been making the perfect sauce since 1920, and in 1964 it was the secret ingredient in the first ever Buffalo Wings. I am going to let you in on a secret. It’s called Frank’s RedHot.
Frank’s is the secret ingredient in Buffalo wings, and only ingredient. Most recipes call for butter to be added. If you are too lazy for that, then you can purchase the Frank’s Wing Sauce, which already has the butter added for you. Fat-ass. I would suggest getting the original and simply adding your own butter, which you already have.
This post isn’t even about wings! Fuck wings! If anyone mentions Buffalo wings again I’m going to lose it! Oh, and your aunts secret recipe? Some bullshit in a bottle… called Frank’s. And guess what? It’s good with fucking everything! RedHot goes great on mac n’ cheese, pizza, pasta, wraps, chicken, burgers, veggies, dips, nachos, and more.
RedHot certainly isn’t the hottest sauce in our cabinet. As a matter of fact, it’s one of the coolest kids on the block. Frank’s is all about the well-rounded flavor. It has just enough zing from the cayenne pepper blend and a tangy vinegar aftertaste. Frank’s comes in at about eight hundred scovilles, which is about 8% the hotness of a jalapeno or hot as the orange pack of hot sauce at Taco Bell. It’s smooth and highly addictive; the gateway drug of hot sauces. Once you’ve experienced Frank’s RedHot, you might be wondering if there’s anything hotter. Well there is, but that’s for another post.
Wing Central prides themselves on their vast selection of wings ranging from standard buffalo to teriyaki. Heat selections range from 1st Degree to 3rd Degree. At the pinnacle of their scorching myriad of wings resides the notorious Hell Wing, the only wing I’ve ever had to sign a waiver prior to eating. Upon reading their warnings to those with respiratory conditions, even the most seasoned hot sauce connoisseur begins to fight nerves before consumption. Was the waiver a true disclaimer or just for novelty? Both.
The initial bite was immediately reminiscent of my Mad Dog’s Revenge extract. I quickly forgot that I was even eating a chicken wing as the sauce delivered its payload almost instantaneously. I was feeling a bit alpha on the walk to the restaurant, thinking I could take this on without a problem. However, within ten seconds I found myself reaching for the graciously sized cup of water. I finished off the rest within a minute and endured my time in Hell for another quarter of an hour. Not only did it Fuck My Throat, but it fucked up my gastrointestinal tract for a good six hours. Fuck that fucking wing. The next time a drunk bro tells you to eat one, tell them to eat a bag of dicks.
We later found that the sauce was indeed part of the Mad Dog family — 357 Sauce, rated at six-million scoville units. The 357 allows Wing Central to stake their claim of having the world’s hottest wing. Why? Anything higher than six-million scovilles is no longer considered a sauce, but an extract. To put things in perspective, military-grade pepper spray is rated at two to five-million units(a thousand times hotter than a jalapeno pepper).